“How do you find the time?”

I was reminded yesterday how much I dislike that question. It makes me want to say, “How do you find the time to ask dumb questions?”

Actually, I dislike all questions that are not legitimate inquiries but are instead passive-aggressive ways of saying something critical.

For example, a question like “how do you find the time to write a blog post every day?” often really means, “blogging seems like a waste of time.”

Or, “how do you find the time to exercise?” means, “I feel inadequate because you exercise and I don’t.”

Or, “Is your daughter reading yet?” sometimes means, “Wow, I can’t believe your daughter isn’t reading yet, you sure are a slacker parent.”

Even an innocent, “how’s business these days?” can mean, “I wish you’d get a real job already,” depending on who’s asking.

Before I ask a question I try to make sure I’m asking because I don’t know the answer and am genuinely curious, although I’m sure I fall into the passive-aggressive trap too often myself.


Filed under: Listening


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